Direct TV will start offering DogTV – which is a cable network with programming targeting dogs. You read right. Dogs. Not dog-owners; but the dogs themselves. They’ll show images of frisbees being thrown, birds chirping and other cool programming canines will love.
Yet, NuvoTV – which is a cable network targeting young English-speaking Latinos, can’t get on the Direct TV roster of channels. Why, you ask? Because dogs are obviously bigger consumers than young Latinos!
Let’s ignore the figures from a Nielsen report stating that Latinos showed a buying power of $1 trillion in 2010, and projected to grow 50 percent to $1.5 trillion in 2015. Let’s ignore those little ‘technicalities’ we call ‘real numbers’, and, instead, lets be realistic and use our common sense: Who buys phones? Dogs. Who buys cars? Dogs. Who buys beer? Dogs. So it makes sense for Direct TV to do what its right for their business and cater to dogs.
Don’t quote me on this, but one of the Direct TV executives said that the move to cater to dogs comes from the growing popularity of “Brian” from Family Guy. “People like Brian. He’s a cool dog,” says an unnamed Direct TV exec during an non-existent interview, right before photocopying his butt to use the picture as letterhead for an internal office memo.
I’m sure Direct TV feels that Latinos already got Telemundo, so what’s the big deal?
Right now my plan is to pop some popcorn, sit back and enjoy dogs barking non-stop on TV for about 4 or 5 hours – because the real dogs barking non-stop around my neighborhood all day and night are quite boring.
You can join me and do the same. Here’s a clip to get you started…